Films to Watch When You Are Sitting Home Alone With Nothing to Do (Part 1)

There are some days, when you spend the whole day at home, having no desire whatsoever to get out. Not because you have no friends, or you don’t feel good, or you are depressed, or you are a loser, but just because the weather outside is plain and gray and you woke up late in the morning. Plus, it’s just one of those days when you are too lazy to do anything and want to spend the whole day with yourself. I strongly believe in spending some alone time with yourself. It’s kind of like a therapy.

To me, this sort of therapy mostly involves watching films. But not just action films, or comedy films, or romcoms, or dramas, or blockbusters. No no no. The films I choose for such days are strictly about human nature and overcoming yourself and being strong or being afraid or being stuck. Some of them are full of action, but not the type where the main character runs around town and blows things up. Some of them are documentaries and some of them are slow-paced independent films.

These films are strongly recommended for watching on your own, so that you can sit back after watching the film and think about what you have just seen. Plus, in case you are stuck in a young adult crisis or just existential crisis and find int hard to realize your dreams, these are for especially you.

1. Whiplash (2014)

PHOTOGRAPH BY DANIEL MCFADDEN / SONY PICTURES CLASSICS / EVERETT

I didn’t know about this film until after the Oscars. When I saw that it was in the list of nominees after the awards and I hate totally missed it, I googled it instantly and what I read made it obvious that Whiplash shouldn’t be missed. A film about a JAZZ drummer (a JAZZ! drummer) who wants to be the best drummer in the world and does everything he can to achieve that, he is even ready to be embarrass by his extremely strict and ruthless teacher in front of everyone to reach his goal. If you are an avid jazz lover, I can’t say you will be crazy about the music in the film, but the compositions and the drums are truly good and fit perfectly into each and every scene. This film is good for everyone, even if you hate jazz, if you hate music. I can’t descrive in words just how much it has affected me (though the post before this one definitely shows it well). The reason you should watch this film home alone and than think about it for yourself, is because it shows you just how much it takes to reach your goal and why and how you should never give up and how you should know what you stand for so that you don’t go crazy after the whole world denies your wishes. Trust me, after thinking about the film the whole day and the whole night, you WILL want to get out of the house and discuss it very deeply with your friends and do everything you have ever wanted to do. It is truly a very inspirational film and one of the few best films I have seen in the last few years that have made me realize so many things.

2. Kicking and Screaming (1995)

Noah Baumbach’s debut masterpiece, which will help you realize Baumbach’s goal – To show humans just the way they are, without any alternations. Watching this film, I felt my heart slowly melt into a warm mess from all the sweetness, witty dialogue, friendly jokes. The basic idea of the film is to show how college graduates feel stuck on the line between being young and being an adult, when just hanging out with friends in bars isn’t enough to be satisfied, but also having a job and having no time is also not a very pleasurable idea. In the film, we have 4 friends, all guys, all played by amazing actors who are unfortunately not well known, especially my new blue-eyed love Josh Hamilton (the reason I watched the film in the first place). These four friends all have their problems, which they don’t really try to overcome, but they feel uncomfortable non the less. They frequent one bar where we hear them talk the most realistic, witty and comic dialogues, they play dumb trivia games and talk all the same about philosophical stuff that in the end they know makes no sense. They are nihilistic and bored. What I like the most about the film is that there is no big epiphany in the end, there are no cheesy love songs, no cheese break-ups or make-ups, and we don’t see the main character having a sudden realization in the end and walking into the street with a happy face and some inspirational music in the backgrounds and then the titles roll. The ending is very simple, and quite abrupt, but trust me, it leaves you with a very warm smile. So in case you are a 20-21 year old student, on the verge of ending University and stepping into the real life and feeling scared and stuck, definitely watch this film.

3. The Virgin Suicides (1999)

Those who have seen this film will be surprised as to why this sad tragic story should be on the list. But I do have a good explanation for this! It sure is perfect for hot, dull summer days. The film is full of the intolerance with the every day life, the effect of peers on teenagers and the effect of parents and strictness. The reason it’s good to watch alone on a dull summer evening, is the style in which it is made: pastel colors, frequent scenes filmed in dusk or dawn, teenage girl bedrooms filled with girly, unneeded stuff. Sofia Coppola can tell any store with amazing style and beauty, even a tragic one like this one. But you know, tragic things are sometimes romantic things. so if you are feeling romantic and bored in summer, it’s a must-watch with amazing visuals and soundtrack that might leave you feeling a bit sour, but it’s okay. You will realize that your life shouldn’t be wasted the same way the lives of the Lisbon sisters were. After watching this film, treat yourself with something tasty, or smoke a cigarette, and sit outside in the chilly weather for a while. Plus, you will want to watch this film every summer.

4. The Punk Singer (2013)

Okay, I am obsessed with Kathleen Hanna – THE punk rock feminist singer who began her work in the 90s and hasn’t stopped yet. The woman behind 90s feminism, zines, Bikini Kill, Le Tigre, Julie Ruin, Adam Horovitz’s wife! This documentary film is here not only because I am obsessed, but also because it makes you think about what you want out of life and what you stand for, what your principals, morals and ideals are. Kathleen never had a problem with this, she always did what she was told she couldn’t do, she wasn’t afraid of anybody, she wasn’t afraid fo having a relationship with a cheeky Beastie Boy who sang the most misogynistic songs ever in the 80s. The only thing that stopped her only for a while was the illness she found very hard to overcome, but fights it every day and doesn’t give up on feminism and singing. Also, the film just goes on to show you that you shouldn’t be judgemental, because if the most feminist ever woman married the most sexist man ever, the anything is possible. Well, Adam wasn’t singing sexist shit anymore when they met, but he used to anyway. And the way these two people have effected each other and helped each other is very inspirational. The Punk Singer is also filmed very well and the story is told well and the end leaves you very happy and makes you want to do everything you have ever wanted to do.

5. Gummo (1997)

Harmony Korine’s yet another masterpiece after Kids. Gummo is one of the films that doesn’t require you to use your brain and think about what each and every character has said, because Gummo is about nothing, actually. We see a small American town in ruins after a storm, and we see young people trying to live amongst the collapsed buildings and deteriorated culture of the town. The youngsters spend the time doing nothing, being violent, being sexy, drinking and smoking, partying and fighting, eating and bathing. They are bored and they don’t know how to get out of the boredom. It’s one of these things you know, when some dull emotion takes over and you feel so comfortable with it you don’t try to change the every day dull life you have because that means you have to become uncomfortable and that’s a challenge. Most of the dialogues and scenes appear as unscripted, and maybe they are, and none of the actors are actual professionals, which gives the film the natural and organic film, like Kicking and Screaming with a bit of a creepy, perverted and at moments disgusting twist. So watch it if you are bored and feel like nothing, because after watching Gummo, everything will seem extremely entertaining. So Gummo is basically about this – how humans adapt to their surroundings unlike animals and learn to entertain themselves.

So this is it for now, because I am extremely sleepy and have lessons tomorrow. There are more to come, and I do know which films to add. I wish I wasn’t so sleepy and it wasn’t so late, but my brain can’t function and I can’t continue so this is a Good Night Everyone!

On Equality, Feminism and Why I Choose to Stop

I have been calling myself a feminist for a very long time now, without realizing the real meaning of the word. I started calling myself a feminist because I didn’t want to compromise, I didn’t what guys and men to think of me as a weak person, because in their mind a woman is a weak person. And I still don’t want that. I watched everything I could about Kathleen Hanna and the 90s feminist movement, I was mesmerized and amazed by these women, who were doing what they wanted, without thinking about the opinion of men. They were ruthless. But I don’t think 90s feministic standards fit today. Today, feminism is chic. Every woman is a feminist, despite the way the think, dress, look and so on. They use the word feminism the same way I use it – to define that they don’t want to be controlled by men. But the truth is, they still are controlled, without realizing it, by men. Most of the girls my age talk about “strong women”, and yet they spend every night thinking about the guy that they made out with, they had sex with. They talk about men all the time, trying to figure out why a certain guy did what he did and how could he do it. Yet, we all know why he did it, but these girls have an enormous feeling of satisfaction when they talk with their girlfriends and try to figure out the subtle signs men and guys give us while flirting, or while being in a relationship, or after a break-up. I have figured it all out, with their guys as well as mine, and now I’m silent. Because talking about men 24/7 and yet, calling yourself a feminist, means you are a hypocrite.

Today, especially after Emma Watson priceless speech about real feminism, gender equality and women in general, feminism has changed. Feminism has become all about women, instead of becoming all about both genders. Feminists now are viewed as elegant, beautiful creatures, who love make-up and fashion and a real woman is a woman who is elegant, taken care of, and well looked-after. The definition of woman is going back to the same definition it had decades ago. There is more and more self-confidence and self-help advice online and in general than it ever was. To be beautiful you have to do this, you have to be fit, you have to beautiful, you have to be elegant, you have to have manners. Why I like the 90s? Because 90s women were against all the things that are happening now. These women didn’t care about appearance, about manners, about femininity. Even the casual streets style today is a good example of the change: in the 90s, women bought clothes from male stores and wore their boyfriends’ or father’s clothes, without making them look feminine. The goal was totally different. The goal of wearing male clothes was to say – I don’t have to look sexy to be a woman. I don’t have to wear a dress to be a woman. Now, girls buy male clothes and fit them to a totally feminine style, cutting them up and changing the shapes and styles. Femininity is the word I hate, and women today shouldn’t try to encourage it. It may sound weird coming from a girl that calls herself a feminist. But to me, feminism is all about not caring about what men say and not trying to fit their taste. To me, being a feminist means not thinking about guys, until an actual guy comes along and you fall in love, because when you are in love, you have to think about the other person as well. I don’t mean changing to fit them. I mean you have to stop thinking about other guys and both sides should try to stand up for each other. To me, being a feminist is about reaching my goals without the help of my parents, or boyfriend, or men in general.

Which is why I have stopped calling myself a feminist. Because the majority of feminists today don’t stand the same ground as me. Or maybe I should keep calling myself a feminist and eventually women around me will realize what it is all about.

I have come to hate anything feminine.

I have come to hate all the trash-talk and male-talk.

I have come to hate girls and girl bands singing about love and men. I have come to hate make-up and long hair.

I have come to hate high heels. I don’t understand at all why women have to suffer and wear high heels just because centuries ago somebody decided that it makes our legs look more beautiful.

I have come to hate anything that can be mildly associated with women.

I have go to hate myself when I thing about guys and remember the relationships I used to have. I have come to hate people.

I have come to hate films with girls as main characters.

Why?

Because in almost every film or TV series, no matter how feministic they call themselves, the creators make the girls look extremely complicated, male-oriented and depressed. They make them look fragile and soft and girly. If there is a girl that doesn’t talk about men 24/7, that doesn’t wear dresses and doesn’t have short hair, she’s a lesbian. Or if there is the character created with the idea of a “strong woman”, she‘s extremely sexy and almost always half-naked and almost always tries to get around and reach the goal by seducing men. I watched the pilot of Girls after thinking of doing it for a very long time. I expected it to be this awesome TV series about young girls trying to make a living in the big city. But what I saw really disappointed me. The very first episode is about men. I like the beginning of Hannah’s story, until almost the half of the episode became about Hannah and her unexplained relationship with some guy. The other girl is pregnant, and the third girl can’t decide whether to break-up with her boyfriend. I was very upset. Because I wanted more. I wanted to see more than a 21s century remake of Sex and The City, only with younger characters, which actually makes it worse. I wanted to see what I saw in Whiplash – a person desperate to get what she wants, so desperate that she, without thinking twice, breaks up with her boyfriend to focus on her job. We almost never see that in films where girls are the main characters. In 106 minute Whiplash, the relationship of a boy and a girl is shown for maximum 5 minutes. Maybe a minute more. The other 100 are all about Andrew working his ass off to reach the ultimate goal. This is why I loved Whiplash – It’s ruthless, rough, tough, uncompromising and absolutely breathtaking. Something you never see when the main character is female. Because in such women, everything is softer, unless the female character is a lesbian (though there are some exceptions, like Foxfire and Million Dollar Baby). And if they are not soft, then the roughness is so fake it’s almost cheesy.

I have come to realize that my favorite films mostly have male characters: Fight Club, The Fall (although the main character is a girl, she is a kid and in this film, we don’t have the cheesy kid love story), Whiplash, Roadside Prophets, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, Billy Elliot, Primal Fear, Trainspotting, Everything is Illuminated). If you think about it, why are these films interesting? Because they are not about and heterosexual relationship, or a romantic relationship in general. If you see a man and a woman, it doesn’t last more than a few minutes and it’s mostly just a passing thing and you stay focused on one thing – The Protagonist getting what he wants, which is not a girlfriend. Though I can name a few movies about women that really got to me, like The North Country, Kill Bill, The Virgin Suicides, Blue Jasmine, Melancholia. But still, most of these films’ protagonists have a story to tell because of a certain man in their life. While none of the films with male protagonists I listed above had a story to tell because of a woman. You know what I want to see in a film with female characters? I want to see only women, not like in the film Women, where there are absolutely no men and the women talk ABOUT men all the time, but only women working their ass off as Andrew does in Whiplash. I want to see a girl break up with her boyfriend without emotions and crying and thinking, because she needs to concentrate on her diploma or job or artistry or a film she’s making or her band or something like this. There are no women in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, but you don’t even notice this, because you don’t need the cheesy love story to be hooked. But for some reason, in films with women, no matter what the women wants, there is always a small love story. I want to see roughness, ruthless people, I want to see girls who argue with each other about life and politics and music and art, not men and sex.

Meanwhile, I have developed Neurosis. For the exact reasons I listed above. The world around me say: It’s important to have a boyfriend, to be feminine, to look good, to be sexy, to laugh guys’ jokes to make them like you, to be funny and laugh a lot, to be this to be that. Guys have to like you. Why don’t guys like you? Why don’t you have a boyfriend? Why don’t you go out much? I have been going out a lot with friends lately, and I shouldn’t have done that because that is exactly what led me to neurosis. The same stories over and over again: He likes her and she doesn’t and the other he is jealous while she likes the third someone and he loves her and she can’t stop thinking about her ex and they have to talk about their feelings and she found a new guy and she’s so good with guys and so on and so on. I could tell you a million love stories and a million flirt stories and a million break-up and a million make-up stories. All because that’s all that people around me are interested in and to them, I’m boring. Because I want to talk about how speechless good music leaves you, I want to talk about a new band I just discovered, I want to spend 3 hours discussing the Midnight in Paris, I want to talk about the idea of life and space. What I want to do is not give a shit about all these things that matter to girls around me. What I want to do is a get a job, make a name, and make people realize that while they were sitting in bars, trying to figure out their sexual desires and love life, I was working my ass off, and now, I am at the top. I am the new Charlie Parker.